Trying to Solve My Mystery in a Social Jail

People think I have to want to be a certain way, a way that is not well-accepted socially.

It seems a little funny because I kinda made myself to be the best of both my parents.  I'm not happy to know if I messed up.  Some things were out of my control, so maybe it has a domino effect, like staying up late to do homework made me look shorter than I wanted.

I don't really barge in on other people, but I feel people are telling me I do.  When I meet someone, it's already over.  People around me act like they don't know how I started to get some kind of attention from anyone, to begin with, but they already want to rat me out, like there's some obvious reason.  It's very silly and superstitious and criminal, extreme social mistreatment in sneaky ways.

So, what is wrong with what I am like when you come to know what my parents are like, in some ways?  I don't think I'm often that violent, tho I'm not used to people giving me attention and going thru with telling me they think I did something wrong in getting attention.  Why can't I get by sometimes?  I mean, if someone wants to communicate with me, it doesn't mean I did something wrong.  It also doesn't mean I don't want to communicate with anyone at all and like to communicate on what I like, which is disagreeable to some people.

I wonder if people dislike me because I am different form them in supposedly important ways and aren't interested cuz "there's nothing in it."

I figured out that it's about people who are younger than me with younger dads.  People who are attractive participate in their life like they are really living life out with them.  With me, it's about telling me I'm right that I should do what I'm supposed to but I'm bad because they don't want to admit I'm attractive and they make me feel like my soul is sucked out.  Life is not all that romantic after all, filled with limitations and being tracked and mistreated.  I thought life became about greater things for me.  I'm me.  I liked art a lot since I was 2 or 3, so I must like attractive things!  I'm not some mole in a hole socially.