Not for Me, Some Things

Sometimes, I can't count on anyone ... or anything ... but that inevitable sense of humor that follows.

Question

If someone proves to be a good person to someone and they don't have weird issues, why is it always time to stop the boat and treat them like a baby while you feel "stupid?"

"Having an Attitude"

Do you ever get mad when you shouldn't be?  Like, people say you should always try, even when things go wrong.  I was in the habit of doing that.  I know I sometimes just go thru the motions and am not that nice around when people are being mean to me, in secret message.  It happens too often, and my problems are petty but get gashed in, like by a lot of people around me.

cont.

People are attracted to the scent of it.

Something I Didn't Need

Why is it a project to inappropriately stimulate and exploit someone older I like?

cont.

I don't mind people wondering about it, neither.

Thinking "Outside of the Box"

I just figured something out.  If you can't look up to someone or listen to them, like a mentor or parent etc., it can't be that they're right and good etc. cuz that's the kind of thing.  Sometimes, I don't listen to "God" and I do the right thing.  Anyway, it's something interesting to learn.  I am not really comfortable listening to people, but I follow the rules without conceit.

I wonder why some people "submit" in certain ways to others... I guess some people do, and some people don't for different reasons.

So, I am fine with that.

Question

What is it about some people that makes everybody like them?

Here is someone everyone likes: link.

Question

If nothing's going on in the world of classical music, what is everyone doing now?

Everything seems to have stopped since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) came out.

Advanced Mathematics

Did you know people think anything for me is selfish and should be for the whole world?

Quirky Memes

I found out something interesting.  What do you think about this?

If you try to follow a meme to be quirky, you might get stuck specializing in something more than winning as a person.

I wonder what most people do.

I made it this far.

I majored in music, unsure of what instrument to chose and so did 2, and I had prospects to go to France or Germany and learn the language and chose French.  It's been 11 years, and I changed to violin and German.  I didn't know music was that serious to me and so wasn't decisive about chosing an orchestral instrument cuz for some strange reason it seemed like a good idea, when I was at a public high school, tho I was doing piano.  I seemed to hope to make it on Broadway and major in musical theater.  That's a lot of work and dedication to a goal.

A "Planned" "Fail"

How were we supposed to know as kids "what" went into good programs in school and opportunities to succeed, to start early on ... what if you like violin?

hey

Fur Elise is on Music Choice.

Yikes!

Some people close to us want to break our relationship, someone, and I feel I have the okay to have to believe it or there'll be a fight to me.

People are mean to me.

It's not even a nice when I'm in the home.  My parents seem estranged, but I don't feel like posting about how they are now here.

Really?

Everyone in the world seems mean to me.  Do you all naturally do this to please my dad?

Constantly "in the Dog House"

I wonder why some people act like they have seem as "clean cut" as or more than me.

cont.

I run into him a lot at home when I leave my room, and he sends secret messages.  Other people are out having the time of their lives, and I have to worry what I think around the house.

Unnecessarily and Harmfully Sheltered

I feel sheltered and prevented from living my life by my dad.  I bet in childhood he did it in secret.

Too Cheap

I feel my situation is too shallow, while I'm being monitored in private for whatever incentive.

The Problem

If the world is the problem, why make me into the problem?

If I'm so worn, how will I emerge triumphant?  How will I be successful after being pulled out of music school and abused when I tried to improve my health and did ballet and wanted to be in movies?

Message Board

Here is an excerpt from a post I just made.  I talk more directly here because it's in public and someone I know.  It hits more than one unique and important point.

I guess people can be conformists sometimes and not make sense these days. That's making things into trouble. I almost don't trust it here. I don't know if I can trust anyone other than lucky exchanges, like with strangers.  ...  I feel that it wouldn't matter how they are to me in some ways if people didn't influence them to talk to me, tho I suppose some people a lotta people are just mutually interested in, for whatever removed reason to add to the situation. I guess I'm kinda being cornered and going thru something, to be honest. I'm afraid I'll just keep getting fought and accused for my reaction and how I am seen to act and react. I want to know why people have rounded up against me and see me as fake, and all of a sudden people think they're more authentic than me, like they "have to have it." This isn't fair and doesn't make sense. The body is a temple. Why can't I ever get what I've earned? I must have gotten mad more than most people for how I'm mistreated. Things were getting better, too.

Hilarious

People even think it's illegal to say a musician is not "better" than someone who has less skill in music.

More Problems

I wonder why people keep approaching me to make me inhibited in a bad way like something's wrong.  People keep acting like I'm like a criminal to be how I am because people used to praise me a lot tho I didn't know why do that, and now people are acting like I'm egotistical in a way that causes big problems.  They created that drama.  How do they even read into that much that people used to praise me a lot?

Annoyed

Classical orchestral musicians try to make an excuse that they are better than actors or people who wish they could play; that's why they all look so mad.

Dishonesty

I wonder if I inherited any traits of being fat or anything that I have to work off somehow.  I'm already trying to keep up my health.  I saw someone else in a similar situation who was more like me in ways others aren't, for some reason.  It made me get a drink of water.  What if people were just animals or robots and "love" or emotions were just a made up fantasy?  I hope not; so, "what'll it be?"

Why is it suddenly okay for people to say I'm something that is not the product of what I wanted to be or grew to try to be, and others are that way, in certain ways?

I feel like I'm hyperventilating that I'm not skinny, and it shouldn't be that bad simply because of fat quantity.  I know it is popular that a significant amount of white people only like their Asians skinny, but they run the risk of gaining weight like me.

In fact I wasn't that fat before, and people acted like I must have weird, inappropriate desires.  What if my parents were too hard on me as an infant?  Like, "Oh, why aren't you as skinny as your mom is now when you're an infant?  You're not your mom, and she's better.  You're not the same race as your parents, neither.  Why did you get fatter as a baby?"  I feel like I share traits with my parents in "gay" ways.  Why would anyone want that?  One of the biggest thing people liked to say was that some people don't accept or like who they are, which can be said more now as being "self haters."  How is that possible to not care?  Those must be bad people who think they can go thru life doing this to people.

I know people seem to tell me I'm something I'm not.  I think I just had a hard life and don't want to be too close to some of the people I'm related to.  What else do you have to say?  I know that in trying to get in shape, for example, I feel people want to stop me and accuse me of trying to come off as something I'm not, somehow.  They don't believe in tomorrow.  They only believe in what it says before.  People are nice to me and then take it back to act like they can accuse me of "taking" in that I accepted people I liked talking to me.  Why are people so obsessed that people have to be seen as as good as their parents in certain ways when they fail to show themselves apart?  Also, I don't really want parents if that's the case.  I feel rejected like maybe there is something essentially wrong with my intents and me as a person, like if I don't follow what other people say that I will not be okay with how things around me are.  It's like we're all okay but it's illegal to think we're that good anymore.  There are some physical things that are hard to change, like injuries, if you bit or cut your nails, your proportions, etc.

What if people are waiting to hurt lucky people?  It sounds scary that maybe all the good people are unfairly good.  Why don't the people who are not like that go for it and try to be like that, instead?

Cornering Asians

They have a different culture and we can admit there are good things about it for them and if we want can say possibly some for us.  Like, sometimes it feels like they have a glow about them, which can be nice sometimes.  Lots of people like that kind of stuff in different races.

All About Me

I wonder why people like to put, for instance, the Spanish as a different race but not Italian.  I know Germany has some Italian blood mixed in it.  They and other countries I know have Asian/Chinese.  I know, for instance, Finland has Hungarian blood mixed in it.  I figured when I'm with other people that I should have precautions taken around me anyway that the Southern European ones should be made more important in some ways so I am not seen as overbearing.  It seems tho, I felt, it was there to oust me, rather than find guilty people guilty.  I should know well that Southern Europeans, sometimes, some say Asians like me are there to be placed as less like Northern Europeans in the ways they are good than they are.

Over Time: Innocent Until Proven Guilty

I wonder if I'm a normal, innocent person like most anyone else.

I put up my Life Story linked under My Websites.  Here it is: link.